CURSE YE! Ye shall now face my wrath with the sending of a hundred thousand lewd photographs of your mother to your colleages, EVERYDAY.
FOOL! I be not a mortal man! I have lived for centuries! And will out live ye all! But, I shall answer ye question. My earliest memory be when I first acquired my magicke staff. T’is been my pride and joy. UNTIL THAT CURSED FOOL SOLIDER BROKE IT IN HALF! My staff is nearly repaired, but every now again some unfortunate mortal’s life is ended, be they look at it the wrong way.